he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
