I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
