im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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