Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
