I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
