Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
