We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
