walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
