i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
