I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
