I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
