um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
