Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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