Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
