In the future we'll all be gay
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Randomize
