i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
