My nipple is on Facebook.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
