just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
