some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
