Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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