piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
