Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
