i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
