Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
