Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
