please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
