Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
