video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
