It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
