the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize