what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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