Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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