Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
