dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize