if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
