You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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