Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I will be naked everywhere
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
