I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
