So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
