We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize