You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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