I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
