yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
