Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
