I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
