so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
