I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
