Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
