Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
