Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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