U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
