okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
