guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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