Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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