i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
