why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
