Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
