There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
