dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
