is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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