she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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