your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
