you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
