If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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